Are our gay couple goals meh?
The other day I was searching the web and came across an article about gay couple goals. I was surprised by how non-aspirational they were. For example, is washing your car together a real gay relationship goal, or is it an easy way to place a picture of two muscled guys in a post? Share your thoughts in the comments.
This made me think about which gay couple goals are worth achieving. I’m all for a little gay fun, and maybe that was the intent of the article, but is it the “It Gets Better” life we dream of? So, I’ve come up with a list I think may inspire a few us a bit more than, say, buying matching robes, which is cute, but kinda temporary. Here are some that you can cuddle up with yours and fantasize about an amazing life together.
1. Pay off our credit card debt (maybe a bit more sexy, in control than cute)
We’re the Debt Free Guys, so I kinda had to start here. Right?
Did you know that 56% of the LGBTQ community worries about money weekly? The emotional stress that comes with having credit card debt and not living within or below our means can crush a relationship. Paying off high-interest credit card debt will free you and your hubby to enjoy a life together that most only dream of. Get help paying off your credit card debt here.
2. Buy a home together (carry him over the threshold)
Having a place of your own creates an amazing sense of togetherness as a couple. It’s a tangible goal most gay couples only dream about. It gives you all sorts of things to call “ours” and take pride in. You don’t need to hock your soul and be house-poor to own a home. Plus, you’ll receive the benefits of a combined budget instead of living separately. Take the first step in saving for a down payment together.
3. Adopt children (daddis are waaay cute)
There are over 1.5 million children in the foster care system, 1.5 million kids who’d love to have two daddies love them back. Save them from a system that bounces them from one house to another, up to 9 times before they are finally adopted or age out of the foster care system, and “save” yourselves. This goal is one many in our queer community shirks because of the responsibility, but any gay couple with kids will tell you it’s one of the best goals they’ve ever achieved.
4. Give at least 5% of our income to LGBTQ charities (be the cute power couple that gives)
On several occasions, I’ve heard that gay men give less than $45 a year to support our queer community. Surveys also show that giving ranks as one of the lowest discretionary spends of our community, far below travel, dinging out and hygienic expenses. We want things to get better for us and especially LGBTQ youth. How will that happen when the organizations that help us, and the youth and seniors are begging for funds? Giving even just $50 a month goes a long way to helping those in our community who need it most.
5. Exploring the world together (pirates and exploreres)
Oh, the gays and our travel. A recent survey by Grindr showed that we spend upwards of 10% of our annual income on travel. No shame in this. We actually have it as one of our three relationship goals. Get out there, have fun and do it in a way that supports our community and your financial goals. Here are some apps that’ll help you travel for less.
6. Save for a fabulous retirement (that cute old couple that has it all)
It may be 20 or even 30 years away, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth saving for today. Actually, the longer you save, the less you pay. That’s the magic of compounding interest. If you wait too long to start, then when you start you’ll have to give up an even larger chunk of your current lifestyle.
7. Start an LGBTQ supportive business (smart and taking carge)
According to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC), there are over a million LGBTQ-owned businesses in the U.S. alone. We contribute about $1.7 trillion to the U.S. economy. Join us and start a business together that’ll help support your financial goals or give you a few extra bucks each month for all that travel you want to do.
8. Support LGBTQ friendly politicians (have you seen Brian Simms?)
We all hate two-faced people, right? Is it any different to complain about non-LGBTQ supportive administrations and politicians and then do nothing to change it? It takes money and volunteers to elect officials. We need to do more than vote.
9. Visit the Stonewall Inn in NYC (nostalgic and huggable)
The epicenter of the U.S. fight for gay rights is now a museum in New York, thanks to Barack Obama. Make it one of your gay couple goals to visit. Plus, you can take in all that NYC has to offer.
10. Attend a local or national LGBTQ march (get out your shorty shorts and tank tops)
Whether it’s in your own backyard or the nation’s capital, there’s always something happening around LGBTQ rights. As a couple, you’re now privileged with many rights that our forefathers, foremothers and trans folk have been fighting for over the last 50+ years. Let’s not disrespect their efforts by turning a blind eye to the work that must continue today.
11. Get to know transgender people in our community (couples dates)
Thanks to many of our allies, the LG and Bs of our community can feel much more comfortable being out. That’s because they saw us as their friends, neighbors and family. Transgender folk are still seeking that same acceptance and love. One of the ways we can support this as gay couples is to get to know more trans people in our own community. This is a gay couple goal that enriches our lives and helps others feel love.
12. Support LGBTQ-owned businesses and entrepreneurs
Our buying power as a community in the U.S. is just shy of $1 trillion. Yet, much of our money goes to companies and organizations that don’t support our community. Did you know that there are over nine companies in the Fortune 500 that don’t have LGBTQ employee protections, companies like Twentieth Century Fox, which makes movies and television shows we’ve all watched? Let’s commit to spending more of our money in our community and with companies that support us.
13. Leave a legacy for the LGBTQ community
There are hundreds of organizations across the United States that fight every day for our rights. Many of them do it on a shoestring budget. Let’s change that. Set a goal as a gay couple to leave a legacy to further LGBTQ rights long after you’re both gone.
14. Hold hands while you walk down the street (duh!)
You may not be able to do it in your home town, but there’s a certain level of excitement and love that comes from walking down the street or through the parking lot of Target holding hands. We love doing this wherever we can. It’s just another way of showing our neighbors that our relationships are more than the occasional bump and grind. If you can’t do it at home, then figure out where you can and do it at least once a year.
15. Practice monogamy
It’s not for everyone, but it may be right for you. Many gay couples feel the pressure to have an open relationship because someone is always looking to hit on or flirt with one of you. When you set the goal as a couple to be monogamous, you learn more about each other and how you can support each other. Monogamy’s not for everyone but find out if it’s what your other half wants and try.
16. Have sex regularly (cute or hot!)
Speaking of bumping and grinding, two things happen the longer we’re together as couples. One, our sex drive slows down and, two, we run out of fun and interesting ways to have sex. Set the goal as a couple to explore more. Whether that means hitting the local porn shop or buying toys online that do it for you, do it. The more sex we have, the closer we are and that’s a goal every gay couple can enjoy.
17. Say “I love you” every day (Awwww)
The three little words every single guy or gal wants to hear. It’s the stuff of romcoms and storybooks. Don’t forget to say it to each other. Say it with one of these cute cards.
18. Mentor LGBTQ youth
As mentioned earlier, upwards of 40% of homeless kids are LGBTQ. This means there are tons of kids who could use a guiding hand when it comes to making better life decisions. If they don’t have parents in their lives, you can play that role. Check in with your local LGBTQ center to see what opportunities are available.
19. Find an LGBTQ mentor
There are lots of ways to grow as a couple. One is to find another gay person or couple you both admire and ask them to be your mentor. It doesn’t have to be structured, just ask them how they have been able to achieve something you’d like to emulate.
20. Attend a queer-themed conference (cute and smart)
Life is all about learning. When we stop learning, we stop growing. When we stop growing, we die. There are LGBTQ-themed conferences held across the country every month, even in your area. Find one and connect to learn and grow.
21. Talk about money every month (cute money nerds)
As a money blogger, I couldn’t end without this. Did you know that when couples talk about money, they have more and better sex? “Why,” you ask? Because when we talk about money with each other, we build bonds of trust. The more we trust each other, the closer we get, which leads to sex. Oh, and happiness. We don’t want to forget that.
We all need real and fun gay couple goals.
Okay, I’ll admit, I did suck out some of the fun from the other list. But we all know the saying, “all work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.” Do you don’t know the rest of it? It goes, “All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.” The real relationship goals listed above will both strengthen and improve your relationship as a gay couple. Plus, you’ll have time, money and friends that’ll help your gay relationship thrive for years.
Want to remember this? Pin this ’21 Real Gay Couple Goals Worth Achieving’ article to your favorite Pinterest board!