Stop making these 7 money mistakes!

5 Money Moves for When You’re Gay and 18

  January 30, 2020  |    #Make Money

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Before you move out, make these 5 money moves

Homeless teens in America make up 40% of homeless youth. If you’re a queer teen, you need serious money prep ASAP. Here are our 5 best money moves to make when you’re gay and 18. While you’re ready, start paying off credit card debt today with the free 7-Step Credit Card Debt Slasher here.

My money moves at 18 and life

I was raised a J-dub (Jehovah’s Witness). Everything I learned about being gay was bad – horrible. This created an internal conflict in me because I knew as early as 9-years-old that I was exactly who my father and minister hated.

I knew what to expect when I told my parents I was gay. They’d kick me out of the house and I’d likely never see them again.

My crystal ball didn’t lie.

When the day came, not only was I scared to lose my family, I was scared of how I’d take care of myself physically, emotionally and financially. In a flash, I’d be alone.

Being raised to believe that ‘the church’ was my caretaker from cradle to grave, I didn’t prepare for what would happen after I said, “Mom, Dad, I’m gay.”

Whether we jump out or are pushed out of the nest, many queer kids and young adults find themselves in similar financial situations with similar fears.

Below is what I know about preparing to move out when you’re gay and 18.

5 money moves to make when you turn 18

1. Open a free online checking account

A recent survey showed that a whopping 50% of queer respondents claimed they didn’t have a single bank account. That means we’re spending more money on everyday transactions than we have to.

What do we suggest? Open a free online checking out.

Online banks let you open accounts nearly anywhere on your phone, laptop or tablet in about 5 minutes. This is great because you can keep your account away from the eyes of non-supportive parents or family members.

3. Start investing money by investing your spare change

I wish I had learned more about investing when I was younger. It’s one of the smartest money moves for everyone.

Here’s the deal, no one gets rich without learning how to make their money work for them, i.e. investing. That’s investing in stocks, a business or real estate. Had I learned and started earlier, I’d have much more money today.

Learn from my mistake.

The key to investing is starting early, but where should you start? Start simple.

5 Building Blocks of a Happy Gay Life

4. Build credit fast

Having a good credit score will save you thousands if not tens of thousands of dollars on credit cards over your lifetime with loans, mortgages, even apartment rentals, cell phone plans and jobs.

Knowing what makes up a credit score is critical in today’s world. A couple of bad moves and, oops!, you’re spending several expensive years in credit score recovery.

5. Get a part-time job (or 2) and a side hustle

If you had to leave home at a moment’s notice, wouldn’t it be nice to have some cash to cover your expenses?

That’s the power of a safety net, and the only way to build a safety net is with a job or with jobs.

It’s also important for queer people to have part-time jobs and side hustles, ways to earn extra money, should we lose one job or be denied housing or services because we’re queer.

Where to find work?

Thanks to the internet, phone apps and an evolution in thinking, it’s never been easier to find enough part-time work online to build a full-time business.

For more information on money-smart moves to make if you’re gay and 18, listen to this Queer Money® podcast.

5 Money Moves for Gay Teens on Queer Money®:

How to move out at 18 and afford it

1. Live below your means

One of the biggest mistakes I made when I was younger was spending my money as soon as I got it and then spending more.

No one gets rich spending more money than they make.

The best way to make sure you have money to invest after paying your bills is by living below your means, spending less money than you earn.

It sounds old-fashioned, but it’s critical to getting and staying out of debt and achieving independence.

How do you live below your means?

Have systems:

  1. Know what it is you truly want. So often too many of us don’t know what our fabulous life looks like. We know what others want for us. We know what we think we’re supposed to want. We often don’t know what we want.
  2. Then, identify the current habits that prevent you from creating this fabulous life for yourself, and figure out what you must do to overcome those habits.
  3. Next, implement daily exercises that create the energy to attract your fabulous life. Center yourself. Focus yourself. Give yourself space to tap into your instincts.
  4. Finally, create a lifestyle, both work and play, that supports building your fabulous life. Be intentional about the places you go, the people you’re with and the things you do. Make sure they all align with your fabulous life.

Had I known how to manage my money like this when I was younger, I would’ve had a lot more money when I was younger – and now.

2. Start a budget

A budget is key to not living paycheck-to-paycheck and having more money left over at the end of each month.

Find a budgeting app that works for you

3. Differentiate your needs from your wants

Needs are reasonably priced food, clothing and shelter bought in modest amounts. If your goal is to break free from the Bank of Mom & Dad, you don’t have time to spend money beyond what’s reasonable.

It’s hard to believe it now, but it’ll be easier to sacrifice today than tomorrow.

4. Keep an eye out for lifestyle creep

It’s a sneaky little bitch, lifestyle creep. Lifestyle creep happens so slowly you don’t notice it until it’s too late. Suddenly, your standard of living’s higher than you realized. The types and brands you buy are slightly better.

When this starts to happen, you blow whatever budget you had. The only way to rein it in is checking and re-checking your budget. A budget isn’t a once in a while thing, it’s always.

Being aware of lifestyle creep and budgeting are the best ways to avoid it.

How to move out at 18 with no money

This’ll sound redundant, but in all honesty, your options are limited when you have no money. That’s why, as best as you can, save money before leaving mom and dad’s nest.

If that’s not an option, then . . .

1. Know your game plan

Moving out on your own for the first time with no money should only be done with a rock-solid game plan. You’ll want to know:

  • What you’re taking with you?
    • Clothing for the current and next season, at least, laptop, phone, etc.
  • What, if anything, can you afford?
    • Cell phone, food, transportation, etc.
  • Where you’re resting your head at night
    • A friend or family member’s sofa, shelter, van, hostel – ideally one that permits volunteer work in lieu of rent
  • Who, if anyone, will be living with you, or helping to pay rent?
    • A friend, partner or someone else

Finally, you’ll, also, want to have your resume updated and a plan to get a job if you don’t already have one, which leads to our next point.

2. Get a job

The personal and financial independence that comes with the steady income of a job can’t be beaten. Yes, that’s sometimes easier said than done.

That’s why some people have multiple jobs and why jobs in the gig-economy are so popular now.

3. Open a free checking and a free savings account

You may not have money now, but you will. Getting these accounts opened ASAP will make life so much easier.

4. Brush up on your personal finance knowledge

It sounds self-serving, but you’ll do better with your money the better you understand how money works. Between libraries and the internet, there are a lot of free resources out there.

Start here on and the Queer Money® podcast.

How to move out at 18 and go to college

If you want to go to college, you’ll need money. But the more you avoid student loan debt the better.

With no money, you might think you no options. Yes, your options are limited but they exist.

How to make money for college

1. Essay contests

There are tons of essay contests on all sorts of topics that award $500 to $70,000 (and more) to winners. Go to and to speed up your search for essays.

2. Employer reimbursement

Lots of employers offer tuition reimbursement benefits, meaning they’ll help pay for school while you work. Some of these employers include UPS, Apple, Google, ADP, Starbucks, and Home Depot.

All these companies are LGBTQ-friendly, with several earning a perfect score on the Human Rights Campaign’s Corporate Equality Index.

3. Join the military

If you’re up for the challenge, the military’s a great place to get your tuition paid for and learn skills, which is great for when your service is over. You have four options:

  • Armed Forces Tuition Assistance – The specifics (including eligibility, required years of service, application process and restrictions) vary from branch to bran, Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Reserves and National Guard. Tuition assistance grants up to $4,500 annually for tuition and fees.
  • Post 9/11 GI Bill – Any military member who serves more than 90 days of active duty after September 11, 2001, can qualify to have 40% to 100% of tuition and fees reimbursed for an in-state public college or university or up to $17,500 at a private or foreign university.
  • ROTC – With this program, you prepare for military service and go to college at the same time. After graduation, you’ll serve in the Army, Navy, Air Force or Marines – your choice.
  • State-Specific National Guard Tuition Assistance – In addition to the National Guard’s offering of tuition assistance, each state offers tuition assistance for its National Guard Service Members. By attending college or university in a particular state, you can cover tuition and fees up to 100%.

How to save money for college

If you’re gonna do it, do it right. Here are the tools to help save money for college.

  • 529 Pre-Paid Tuition Plans are state plans that lock in future tuition rates at today’s prices, basically, you’re buying shares of tuition for a semester in the future in today’s dollars. This is best for in-state schools and has little effect on qualifying for financial aid.
  • 529 Savings Plans are also state plans. Maximum annual contributions range from $230,000 to $310,000, probably not an issue. Your investment earnings won’t be federally taxed and are typically not taxed by the state offering the plan. 529 Savings Plans do affect financial aid qualification but, again, likely not a concern.
  • Advanced Placement Courses are basic, college-level courses, such as English and math, offered to high school students and accredited by the College Board. APCs often carry over into the first year of college and save time and money. But you do need to qualify for them, and you must earn a 3 (qualified), 4 (well-qualified) or 5 (extremely well-qualified) on the final exams to count towards college credits.

Scholarships for gay students

Colleges want a diverse student body and there are lots of organizations making sure LGBTQ students are included. Find one or more scholarships that could work for you:

  • Bill Caspare Memorial Fund Diversity Scholarship – Available to full-time junior and senior students who are African American, Asian American, Hispanic American, Native American, multiracial or part of the LGBTQ community and students interested in new media, digital advertising and data science, and have a minimum 3.25 GPA.
  • CFPCA LGBT Endowed Scholarship – Wayne State University’s College of Fine, Performing and Communication Arts Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Endowed Scholarship gives financial aid to meritorious students who demonstrate a positive sensitivity to and involvement in LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) issues. Preference is given to LGBTQ students.
  • eQuality Scholarship – eQuality Scholarship Collaborative gives scholarships for post-secondary education at accredited institutions mostly to residents in northern and central California or students who go to school in northern or central California.
  • Freedom from Religion Foundation Catherine Fahringer Memorial Award – A cash scholarship for freethinking high school students, defined as those who identify as atheist, agnostic, humanist or secular and who are accepted into 2- or 4-year colleges.
  • IES Merit-Based David Porter Diversity Scholarship – This scholarship is available to any student at institutions that are members or associate members of the IES college consortium and a member of a community that’s been traditionally underrepresented in study abroad programs, such as being LGBTQ. A minimum of a 3.3 GPA is required.
  • Levin-Goffe Scholarship for LGBTQI Immigrants – For undergraduate students who are both LGBTQ or intersex and undocumented immigrants, including refugees and individuals seeking or granted asylum.
  • PFLAG – As of 2018, the national PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) is on hiatus, but PFLAG chapters across the country offer local scholarships. There’s possibly one in your area.
  • Point Foundation Scholarships – The Point Foundation’s Scholarship are awarded to out LGBTQ people with a track record of leadership and community involvement, a strong academic achievement, been working for the betterment of the LGBTQ community, in need of financial aid and enrolled or intending to enroll in an accredited college or university in the U.S.
  • Pride Foundation Scholarships – Pride Foundation provides essential financial resources and community support to inspirational LGBTQ+ and allied student leaders across the Northwest.

5 Building Blocks of a Happy Gay Life

There’s a lot to consider with leaving mom and dad’s home when you’re gay and 18. Do yourself a favor and make a plan using some (or all) of my tips above. Having been there, I know what it takes to make the transition easier.

There are resources. Use them.

More resources to be happy and gay at 18:

13 responses to “5 Money Moves for When You’re Gay and 18

  1. Wow, thank you for sharing. The whole concept of being able to rely on the church and also facing that is fascinating and would also be terrifying to face.

    1. Anne, thanks for the comment. It was tough to know I was going to be completely alone. I think that was the reason it took me so long. Better finances would have helped with that decision.

  2. David and John, I love the work you’re doing here. The transparency you bring is helping us all feel more comfortable to talk about money, debt, and credit. Keep up the great work!

    I wish I read this article in my late teens. I never thought about investing for retirement when I was young. I lost money by not investing early. I also missed out on free money by not taking advantage of company matching on my 401(k) contributions.

    I also got taken advantage of with my first credit card. The health club sales guy put two years of my gym membership on my credit card (when I thought I was just getting a $20 monthly payment sent there). I should have read the contract more carefully.

    1. Thank you for the vote of confidence Mike. We appreciate your support. It does sound like you were taken advantage of, just another reason why we need to educate the youth of today about the pitfalls of credit and help them get on a stronger path financially.

  3. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s a personal finance dilemma that’s not often talked about. I can only imagine how terrifying it would be to lose my support system overnight. Like Mike, I wish I had saved more at a younger age, but my saving grace was my boss at my first job who insisted I put money into the company retirement plan.

    I like the advice about getting a card with a small limit so you can still build credit but avoid temptation.

    Keep up the great work!

    1. Thank you for the nice words Gerri. We hope that things have changed for many gay youth, but I also know there are many out there today that still need to be determined on their own. We hope that making better financial decisions can make that a bit easier. It is true that credit cards can be a temptation especially when young and our you own. Keeping a low balance minimal use card helps to avoid the temptation.

  4. When my brother came out to my Mom & Dad it became more of an emotional struggle for them than a financial issue, though I can definitely see how that might happen. I hope that people always have at least someone in their network that they can turn to, regardless of which kind of support they need. I was honestly shocked that there was any “issue” of support at all – but then again, I’m about as liberal as they come 😉

    1. It’s nice that your brother has somewhat of a support system. Things have changed quite quickly, but there are still many out there that have no support system and we hope that we can inspire them a bit to think ahead. It may not be top of mind, but I know for myself, it would have been a bit easier if I knew I could support myself and had the confidence to do so.

  5. Hear hear! I am neither 18 nor gay, but these are four pieces of solid financial advice that anyone and everyone should take to heart. (David I had no idea you grew up j-dub!)

    1. Yes, Mindy. I grew up a J-Dub. I learned some solid principles, but I really enjoy who I am now. I think part of that has to do with living a life of abundance and not worrying that the end is neigh.

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