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Who’s Paying for Same-Sex Weddings?

  July 27, 2016  |    #Eliminate Debt

Changing Costs of Same-Sex Weddings

A recent study on same-sex weddings by The Knot found that gay men are now averaging of $33,822 per wedding and lesbians are now averaging $25,334 per wedding since the legalization of same-sex marriage. Before same-sex marriage passed, gay men were averaging $18,242 and lesbians were averaging $16,218 in 2015.

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Managing the Costs of Same-Sex Weddings

On this Queer Money™, we talk with financial guru William S. Matthews about who should pay for same-sex weddings when traditional norms don’t apply. While the public is opening up more and more to same-sex marriage, none of us were aware of any queer friends whose family paid for same-sex weddings.

Relative to tradition, straight and same-sex couples today are paying for a larger percentage of weddings compared to straight couples even a decade ago. Because of stagnant wages and the ever-increasing costs of weddings, fewer couples should rely on their parents to pay for all wedding expenses.

Regardless of sexual orientation, traditional payment methods for weddings are changing. This includes the ever-growing cost of weddings and couples marrying later, it benefits couples to plan to pay for most or all of their wedding expenses.

This is why it’s important for all couples to be clear about what they want their wedding to be, how much it will cost and how they’ll pay for it. For guidance, check out William’s book.

As William shares, it makes more sense for couples to have modest weddings when their net-worth is less and then celebrate wedding milestones with big vacations or celebrations, such as 10-year and 15-year anniversaries, when their net-worth is higher.

When seeking financial support for a same-sex wedding, broach the support of your marriage before asking for financial support. It’s wise to remember that those who provide financial support often want to have a say on how your day looks and feels. The influence those who provide financial support often want is not in direct proportion to the financial support they give.

Inspiration for Cost-Efficient Same-Sex Weddings

Our friend, Rosemarie Groner, shared on her site,, how she threw her wedding for $3,000. Sandy Smith of Yes I AM Cheap wrote about how she had a $5,000 wedding. Cameron Huddleston shared on Kiplinger her 8 pragmatic ways to spend $5,000 or less on weddings.

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