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Success is an inside job
It’s easy to point the finger and blame someone or something else for our failures, but that’s disempowering. Success for most of us is an inside job, and here’s how to reach success. Meanwhile, get your free copy of the 5 Building Blocks of a Happy Gay Life here.
Wining about success
We didn’t make a typo. We shook this episode of Queer Money® up, busted out our wine and talked about one of our favorite topics . . . success. We love watching motivational videos and listening to motivational podcasts about success and the law of attraction. These topics motivate and inspire us to do more and be more ourselves.
The goal of Queer Money® is to help the queer community do more and be more, so we share with our queer tribe on this episode what’s worked for our lives and what we think will help others in our queer tribe with their lives.
Hear our successes and failures with success:
How limiting beliefs prevent success
Do you think your success has been limited by your beliefs?
Thoughts create feelings, feelings create actions, actions create results.
“Queer people don’t grow up as ourselves, we grow up playing a version of ourselves that sacrificing authenticity to minimize humiliation and prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly us and which parts we’ve created to protect us.” – Alexander Leon, writer and activist
There’s an old story about an elephant. As a calf, it’s tied by a rope to a chair. Despite all its efforts, at this age and size, it’s too weak to break free from either the rope or the chair. Without much thought, the elephant believes this is life; being tied to this chair is who it is.
In time, it becomes an adult, weighing over 5,000 pounds. Its legs are the size of tree trunks. Its solid, white tusks can be used as swords. Its trunk is strong enough to lift a car.
At this age and size, the elephant could slice the rope and crush the chair. Yet, despite all this, it remains stuck in the same place it was as a calf.
The elephant, as with so many gay boys who grow to be gay men, believes the shackles (families, churches, politicians, media, school and other institutions) placed on it as a calf, define who it is and what it’s capable of. It doesn’t know its own power because it was conditioned to believe it was powerless.
As Alexander Leon suggests, breaking our fences and ropes is the “massive task of our adult lives” and we seesaw between our greatness and our desire for conformity.
Why success is yours and how it can be
But, as the first-century Jewish scholar, Hillel the Elder asked, “If not you, then who? If not now, when?”
As it out loud, “If not me, then who? If not now, when?”
To reach self-actualization, as Maslow mapped out, to fulfill our purpose and to attain equality for ourselves and our community, we must become our authentic selves balanced between confidence and humility.
How, then do we break free from our ropes and fences and become our complete and enlightened selves?
How do we overcome limiting beliefs?
- Identify what your limiting beliefs are.
- Identify the truth, what often contradicts those limiting beliefs.
- Create and recite an affirmation based on the truth.
- Catch yourself when limiting beliefs creep up and contradict those limiting beliefs with the truth.
- Journal about recurring limiting beliefs that creep up to identify trends and the relationship to these pervasive limiting beliefs.
They’ll take time to completely overcome. Be patient and don’t force it. Lean into it and give yourself grace, and don’t sacrifice the good for the great.
All progress is a win.
No one, not even the Buddha or the ancient Stoics weren’t without constant pursuits of greatness. Epictetus, the Stoic slave-turned-philosopher, said, “We don’t abandon our pursuits because we despair of ever perfecting them.”
Watch us share more about overcoming limiting beliefs for success:
How can you get more Debt Free Guys and Queer Money®?
Get more help to reach your success:
- 5 Ways Gay Men Can Use the Law of Attraction
- How to Start Being a Happy Gay Man
- How to Reach Your Big Gay Dreams in 60 Days
We’re David and John Auten-Schneider, the Debt Free Guys (www.debtfreeguys.com) and hosts of the Queer Money® podcast. We help queer people (and allies) live fabulously not fabulously broke by helping them 1) pay off credit card debt, 2) become part- or full-time entrepreneurs and 3) save and invest for retirement.