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Our bizarre money stories
The bad news? Our money stories are projected on us from birth by no fault of our own. The good news? We can change them. Here are the steps how. Change your money story about not becoming debt free with the free 7-Step Credit Card Debt Slasher here.
Hear all the dish on the most bizarre money stories:
Where do we get our money stories?
We had Bob Wheeler of The Money Nerve on episode 28 of the Queer Money® podcast to talk about limiting money beliefs. We talked about limiting money beliefs that are born of our money stories, how to identify money stories and then overcome them.
But what’s a money story? A money story is our personal narrative about money. That includes our thoughts, feelings and beliefs about money and affects how we use money.
Examples of money stories include but aren’t limited to:
• Money’s the root of all evil
• Rich people are lucky, greedy, ruthless
• I have to work hard for money
• Money doesn’t grow on trees
When we think with our emotions, it may feel like these and other money stories are true. When we think pragmatically about them, we know they’re not true.
Take, for example, “money’s the root of all evil.” That’s an inaccurate quote from the Bible. 1 Timothy 6:10 actually says, “The LOVE of money is the root of all evil.”
What are the consequences, though, of going through life thinking that money is the root of all evil? We’ll make conscious and unconscious decisions that repel money. Even if we’re not poor, we may have adopted behaviors that keep us living paycheck-to-paycheck.
Then, what are the consequences of a lifetime of limiting money beliefs? Financial insecurity and stress, unfulfilled hopes and dreams, unhappiness and more.
What are the sources of our money stories?
The three main sources are:
1. Our parents
2. Our circle of influence
3. Our lived experiences
How do we identify our money stories? Bob shared two great ways. The first is to journal freestyle your thoughts and feelings about money. Write down without editing what you think about money, about people with money, about the economy and the stock market, so on and so forth.
Bob’s second suggestion is to turn this into a conversation with a friend or partner. Without judgment, avoiding accusing either of being right or wrong, share your personal thoughts and feelings about money. Also, share your view of how the other person behaves with money.
Once you identify your money stories, the question is “how are these money stories serving me?”
If these stories are helping you live a bigger, better, happy life, then more power to you and your money stories. If they’re not serving you, if they’re restricting your quality of life, your success and your financial security – affecting your physical, physiological and mental health – that’s important to know.
The final question is, “what are my money stories costing me?”
Every money story is either adding to or subtracting from your financial condition. If you’re bouncing checks, earning late fees and generally living in financial chaos, that’s expensive. If you’re blocking yourself from being upwardly mobile and avoiding opportunities that could, not only improve your financial security but thwart your life’s purpose, that’s costing you. Knowing the net cost of that is important.
Once you identify all this, then you have the information and tools at your disposal to overcome your money stories and improve your quality of life. For more help overcoming your money stories, see episode #16 of the Queer Money Follow-Up series.
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How can you get more Debt Free Guys and Queer Money®?
We’re David and John Auten-Schneider, the Debt Free Guys (www.debtfreeguys.com) and hosts of the Queer Money® podcast. We help queer people (and allies) live fabulously not fabulously broke by helping them 1) pay off credit card debt, 2) become part- or full-time entrepreneurs and 3) save and invest for retirement.
Get more help to overcome financial conditioning:
- How to Come Out of the Closet about Your Money
- How to Start Being a Happy Gay Man
- 4 Money Smart Moves to Make When You’re Gay and 21