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Who’s Paying for Your Gay Wedding?

  April 1, 2021  |    #Live Fabulously

Hi there! You new here? We love that you found our gay little corner of the web. Here at Debt Free Guys, we’re all about helping queer people live lives they truly love inside and out. We think happiness is a 360-degree experience (purpose, love, money, wellness, and lifestyle) that you also deserve. After reading our article below, see how we can help you more here.

Who’s paying for your gay wedding

Since marriage equality, more same-sex couples are getting married. But who’s paying for their gay wedding. Hear our thoughts on this Queer Money. While you’re here, get the 5 Building Blocks of a Happy Gay Life here.

Will your parents pay for your gay wedding?

When we published Queer Money podcast episode #9, Paying for a Gay Wedding, in April 2016, marriage equality wasn’t even a year old. At that time, only about 60% of the general population and 45% of Baby Boomers supported the new law.

At that time, many parents were averse to paying for their LGBTQ kid’s same-sex weddings. Plus, many parents weren’t prepared to pay for their son’s wedding to another man, going with the tradition that parents only pay for the weddings of daughters.
So, at that time, knowing who was paying for your same-sex wedding was a very valid and important question. Have things changed today, five years later?

Hear us talk about who’s paying for your gay wedding on this Queer Money:

What gay weddings look like today

Yes! Things have changed.

Today, 67% of the general population support same-sex marriage and same-sex weddings that averaged $15,849 in 2014 now average about $28,000 – $500 more than opposite-sex weddings!

Who’s paying for same-sex weddings today? The bride’s parents or the bride’s parents?

The truth is there’s unfortunately no data to tell us. What we do know is that the queen of etiquette, Martha Stewart, says there are no longer established rules saying who pays for what.

Ms. Martha recommends either:

  1. “Follow” tradition – have one set of parents cover the cost of the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon, and the other set cover the wedding ceremony and reception
  2. Split the cost evenly between parents
  3. Pay for all the wedding and honeymoon expenses yourselves
  4. Splits the cost 3-ways

The conclusion of us and William S. Matthews, our guest on this particular episode, is to pay for the wedding yourselves. We agreed to this as most same-sex couples still get married later in life when they’re more established in their careers and finances. This also gives the happy couple more autonomy over their day, as money is never free (from other people’s opinions).

Ultimately, William says, “You may want a royal wedding but can only afford a BBQ. Don’t go into massive debt to show off.” So, whatever you decide, keep it real.

Who’s paying for your gay wedding? Watch the YouTube video:

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We’re David and John Auten-Schneider, the Debt Free Guys ( and hosts of the Queer Money® podcast. We help queer people (and allies) live fabulously not fabulously broke by helping them 1) pay off credit card debt, 2) become part- or full-time entrepreneurs and 3) save and invest for retirement.

5 Building Blocks of a Happy Gay Life

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