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Maintaining a gay social life is a gay ol’ time
Living fabulously for gay men means having a fabulously gay social life, but a fabulously gay social life can mean a fantastically small bank account. Unless you follow the steps below and get your free copy of the 5 Building Blocks of a Happy Gay Life here.
A gay social life is a full-time job
When we were finally independent and as out and proud as we could be, our gay social life was as full as the time-space continuum allowed. With dinners, happy-many-hours, dancing and traveling, we were out every day of the week, except Mondays. Mondays were for recovery – even 20-something dancing queens need to rest their wings.
Heidi reminds us weekly that “in fashion, one day you’re in and the next day you’re out.” The gay social scene is no different, and it’s the only time that being out is terrible.
We never said “no” to anything because, as much as we desired to be seen, we desired to see – see men dancing, men shirtless, men, men, men. Our gay social life was fun, carefree and exciting.
Until it wasn’t.
As you’ve probably figured, our carefree spending and jam-packed social life caught up with us. No longer were we dancing on bar tops but living in a basement apartment in a financial hole. Some holes aren’t fun.
To make a long story short, we paid off $51,000 in credit card debt in two and a half years. But, we couldn’t go from being social butterflies to hermit crabs cold turkey. No way, Jose Cuervo! We knew if we didn’t have a gay ol’ time while we paid off our debt we’d never pay our debt off.
When we looked at our financial problems, we saw that our gay social life was part of our sad money problem. But, we couldn’t not have a social life. We figured that planning our social life more strategically was our solution. Sure, we cut down on being so social so frequently, but we didn’t cut out being social altogether.
We had to be more strategic and, if you’re paying off debt or working towards some financial goal, you need to be strategic, too. If you’re raising children with social lives, a social planner is way more important.
1. Fill in birthdays, holidays, anniversaries and other special occasions
When you cut back on being so social to save up more money than you used to have, you still want to stay connected with your friends and family. The easiest way to not let them forget about you as they see you less is to think about them more – or make them think so.
Become religious about sending birthday, anniversary and holiday cards. Becoming a card sender doesn’t require a small loan from Hallmark. You can get reasonably priced cards at Target – stay away from the Papyrus aisle – or, if penny-pinching is your current fix, shop a dollar store.
Put important dates here on your Fabulous Social Life Calendar. Some holidays and special occasions mean more than sending cards, such as gathering with your friends and family for a Thanksgiving feast and Fourth of July BBQ.
Adding and planning for these gay social life activities in advance will help you budget appropriately. For example, if the holidays are a pain point for your wallet, plan which holiday festivities you’ll attend based on what you can afford and what matters most to you. Remember that some festivities will let you see more people at once and help you stay better connected more easily.
2. List future gay social life events
The gays on the social scene are always planning something. Dance party here, networking event there. Then, there’s a fundraiser and then there’s Beer Bust. There’s always Beer Bust.
It can be a full-time job and a full paycheck.
But, you can’t do everything, and you don’t want everyone to forget about you. Plan by adding your gay social life to-dos that are most important to you. We find that two events a month are just about perfect. Pick events where you’ll get the most bang for your buck, whether that’s the number of friends you’ll see, fun you’ll have or money you’ll save.
Remember to occasionally mix up your social calendar a bit, so you meet new people and experience new things. This will reduce your risk of boredom and your risk of spending out of boredom.
3. Add free and cheap things to your gay social life
Once you’ve peppered your Fabulous Social Life Planner with significant events, add free and cheap ones that you, your family and friends like to do. This step may require some brainstorming. You’d be surprised by how many free and cheap things you like to do but never remember to do.
Then you say, “I’m bored” and spend money you don’t have to satiate your boredom. This is why the Fabulous Social Life Calendar is so helpful.
Start with adding to your social planner the obvious, like watching Netflix. Hell, watching moves on iTunes is cheaper than seeing them in the theater. Do a movie night/pot-luck and split the costs. You still won’t pay as much to see that movie as you would by going to the theater.
Friends of ours have a large, outdoor patio and show monthly movies there with their movie projector throughout the summer. Everyone joins, and it’s quite fun.
Another example of how we keep a gay social life is playing Rummycube. My family’s addicted to this game! We have friends who nerd out on it, too. A few times year, we gather for a Rummycube tournament complete with snacks, beer or wine, and it’s a cheap, fun night.
These are some of our examples. You and your people have your own passions, but planning them and putting them on your calendar is helpful.
4. Google and plan free and cheap things to your gay social life
Most cities and regions have blogs, city guides or websites that list free and cheap things to do in that area. Denver has free and cheap events and activities listed at Denver.org. We also have MileHighOnTheCheap.com. Philadelphia has free things listed at PhillyFunGuide.com and New York City has TheSkint.com. These are just the places where we go.
Find similar resources for where you live and travel and add them to your calendar with seasonal activities and activities you may not otherwise consider.
5. Fill in your money, life goals and life tasks
At a minimum, update your budget once a month. We do this twice a month. Keep these in mind as you plan your social calendar:
- Projected Income for the month
- Projected Expenses for the month
- Social Spending for the month
- Assets
- Debt
- Net Worth
Noting these on your calendar will keep your goals top of mind even while you have a fabulous gay social life. Then, complete your gay social life and fabulous life planning by writing down your monthly life goals and the tasks needed to accomplish your monthly life goals.
Planning is important for success, and with this simple formula, you can plan what’s important to you and save money. You’ll reach your money goals in no time and still have a gay ol’ time.
Get more helpful tips for living a fabulously gay (and affordable) social life: