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Finding the perfect gay husband
Am I right? Finding the perfect gay husband seems near impossible. Here are 7 suggestions that just may put the spring in your step to attract the man of your dreams. Being a happy gay man is a 360-experience, more than just having a husband. Get all 5 Building Blocks of a Happy Gay Life here.
My thoughts as a gay husband to my gay husband
We all want that perfect man, but what does it take to find and win him? Let me tell you. And if you’re asking me what makes me such an expert, I’ll just say 16 years of wedded bliss and that we’ve practiced every one of these. EVERYONE!
1. Stop complaining you’re single!
That’s right. No one likes hearing your endless drone of complaining. Just let it go. You’re not the only one who’s single. Complaining looks desperate. Your perfect gay husband isn’t looking for desperate.
Complaining makes you look like this…
2. Get fit
This has nothing to do with the size or shape of your body. No body-shaming here.
A great side effect of getting fit; you’ll feel better. Feeling better physically, helps you feel better mentally, which just happens to be next…
3. Get smart
Don’t ask me why, but there’s a certain sense of charm that comes from a man who knows something. I’m not saying you have to go all Harvard, but learn something, whether about the community, your line of work or just interesting facts. This will help you hold a conversation at the dinner table or when you’re out on a couple’s date with his friends.
If all you can talk about is the latest episode of Drag Race or Queer Eye, most guys are going to see your limited conversation and wonder what you do with all your time. They may think you’re not their perfect prospect for becoming the other half of their gay power couple.
4. Get financially fit
There’s a reason all the Disney princess stories have a young prince sweeping the young heroine off her feet. Princes are bitches with riches! No one wants to fall in love and then get smacked with a bill to pay off their new beau’s credit cards, loans or car payment.
Get your money under control, and it’ll make you a better catch. Let me tell you, there are only so many sugar daddies to go around. Most men with any sort of financial confidence are looking for partners to achieve their dreams together, not slow them down. Here’s the perfect place to to start getting your money shit together.
5. Gain confidence
This ties back a little to number one. When you’re desperate or weak acting, you give off a vibe of being timid. Think about that in bed. Do you want a timid sexual partner? Hell no, you don’t. You want a man who knows how to get it on!
The reason that most of us lack confidence is that we haven’t won often enough. Everyone wants that big win that completely changes our lives, but guess what? It’s not likely to happen. The vast majority of us are created by our habits.
How do you fix it? Position yourself to start winning with little things. Going back to number three, start learning how to do things and then start testing yourself. If you’re a writer, write and submit it to websites as a guest post. If you’re a musician, publish your music on Soundcloud and get people listening. There are a million different ways to win. Find one or two that inspire you, and start winning!
Another great way to do this is to surround yourself with other winners. Winners breed winners.
6. Switch from Grindr to dating apps
Grindr and Scruff have their place, but if you keep hunting for the hookup, that’s all you’ll get. Yes, I know that there are a few success stories of guys hooking up on Grindr and now are in a monogamous long-term relationship. But that’s it. A few. Guys on those apps are looking for the hookup not the forever man.
There are a ton of dating apps that not only cater to but also are exclusively for finding your forever man. I’m not recommending any here because I don’t have much experience using them, as it’s been 16 years and I don’t want to be disingenuous.
M.D. Johnson, in his book, Looking?: Technology’s Impact on Modern Relationships, says that over 60% of couples who marry now meet on dating apps. So, Google some!
7. Surround yourself with better people
If you’re surrounding yourself with a bunch of bitter lonely queens who always complain about being single, what do you expect is going through your mind?
As I said in number five, to be more confident surround yourself with confident people. The other reason to surround yourself with better people is to pull negative thoughts out of your environment and replace them with positive and successful conversations.
It may be time to break up the time on Facebook and Reddit filled with chatty talk of sex, politics and pop culture in exchange for some face-to-face with real people to inspire and motivate you. A great place to start is to look to those who are making something more of their lives and our queer community.
Finding your perfect gay husband won’t happen overnight, just like the above can’t all be done in one day. It’ll take some time, but while you start to change, you’ll find that others will either be attracted to you or wonder why you’ve gone all high and mighty. It’s the latter who are holding you back and the former where you’ll probably find the perfect man of your dreams.
Cheers to becoming and landing your amazing, gay husband.
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