The Power to Getting Unstuck Isn’t in a Cup
Do you sometimes feel powerless and that there isn’t a way to get unstuck from your current trajectory? We’ve been there. Here are a few suggestions to pull that wedgy of life out!
Neither Socrates nor Plato nor any of their contemporaries past, present or future had a more profound puzzle to ponder than if it’s too late for coffee or too early for wine. If you’re stuck in the binary vortex of caffeine and tannins, you’re in a rut and it’s time to get unstuck.
When I go out for dinner, some chic people I know get coffee instead of dessert. I wonder if they have trouble sleeping that night or if they have plans for afterward to which I’m not invited. If it’s the latter, I hope they suffer the former.
Then there’s wine. In summer, I like crisp, minerally vino verdes. The cooler it gets, the more I want light rosés then medium body pinots then thick zinfandels . . . though thickness doesn’t matter (I’m told).
Somedays the only reason I survive is because of coffee and wine. In New York City, you can’t swing an Asian palm civet without hitting an underemployed hipster carrying a Ball jar of a cold steeped brew.
You Had the Power All Along
If you feel like I do some days, you need to unstuck yourself. Victor Davis Hansen, the author of One-Minute Millionaire, said, “You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about.” If this’s true, and it is, we’ve fucked ourselves and can, therefore, unstuck ourselves.
Have you ever asked, “How did I get here?” or said, “This isn’t the way it was supposed to be.” You’ve lost control of life and suddenly you’re living someone else’s expectations.
When I “need” coffee to get me through to 10 am and wine from, well, 10 am on, it’s because I’m not centered. Let’s be honest. Caffeine and alcohol are drugs. In moderation, they’re not bad. When they’re needs, we’re stuck.
If we’re the masters of our tomorrow, we mastered our yesterday that made our today. Whether we know it or not, we consciously or unconsciously led ourselves to this “one moment in time” with billions or seemingly unimportant little decisions. Yesterday’s decisions, thoughts, and actions are today’s results.
Do you like what you’re seeing, hearing, thinking, and feeling? Then, unstuck the fuck up!
When It’s Not Big Enough
Motivational speaker, Les Brown, tells the story of a man who passed on his way to work each morning an elderly couple on a porch. Their dog lay next to them each morning and groaned incessantly.
One day, the man finally said, “Pardon me ma’am, but I walk by your house every day on my way to work and every day your dog is groaning. Why’s he groaning?” The woman said, “Cause, baby, he’s lying on a nail.” The man replied, “If he’s lying on a nail, why doesn’t he get up?” She said, “Cause, baby, he’s uncomfortable enough to groan about it but not uncomfortable enough to do anything about it.”
For us bean and grape drinkers, are coffee and wine our painkillers? If so, the problem isn’t the coffee or the wine or any other excuse we manufacture. The problem is us and how we see our problems. As a wise philosopher once said, “The problem is not your problem but your attitude about the problem.” (Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean).
It’s a harsh truth, but if we’re not happy with our today it’s our fault. It’s also a refreshing truth because as much as we made today, we make tomorrow.
Earl Nightingale said, “What we think about we become.” What are you thinking about? You don’t have to think hard. The answer is all around you.
Unstuck from the Breakfast Club
John Hugh’s movies don’t tell the story of his characters after they grew up and became adults. We don’t know what happened when his characters joined the 9-to-5 grind, had families, got a mortgage, and became the antagonist in someone else’s movie. For all we know, Jeanie Bueller’s on Xanax, Duckie’s on Paxil, and John Bender’s on Lorazepam.
If, as Jim Rohn said, you’re the average of the five people with whom you spend the most time, how are you doing? If everyone in your life lives for the weekend, are you dead Monday through Friday? If all your friends are stuck in detention, are you there, too?
If you are, get unstuck and start working on you and your dreams. Surround yourself with others working on their dreams. Let them raise your game and you raise theirs.
Change Your Brain
Change the talk inside your head – that voice inside your head that says you’re not good enough, smart enough, or hot enough to have this, that or the other thing. That unconscious talk is the bully in grade school who laughed at you for not hitting the ball. That unconscious talk is the family drama of coming out. That unconscious talk is the feeling of going back to a high school reunion.
That unconscious talk is your neurolinguistic programming (NLP). There are two exercises to change your NLP. The first is reciting affirmations. The second is keeping a gratitude journal.
First, write out a script you can memorize and that describes the best version of you, your life, and what you want to achieve. Be specific. Include dates, amounts and size, yes, size. For five minutes, every day, morning and night, close your eyes and recite your affirmations out loud with emotion. Feel what you say and picture what you’ll do. Imagine yourself buying the car, getting the job and making the money.
Second, keep a gratitude journal and even on days when it feels like you have nothing for which to be thankful write down five things for which you’re grateful. Focusing on the positive will get you unstuck from the negative.
If you’re down on your luck and in a rut, it’s within your power to get unstuck. So, loosen up, lighten up, and live it up.
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